I Don’t Know What To Say

Posted: September 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

Lately I’ve found myself with a massive amount of thought, but very little sense or resolution to said thoughts. Or maybe it just feels that way. I just know that there are things constantly on my mind, but I don’t talk about them. I stopped talking a couple months ago because it just got to the point that I don’t know who to talk to, or how to put it into words. Most of it doesn’t matter anyway, I suppose, but my brain didn’t get the memo.

From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, my mind is incessantly attacking me with shit I don’t want to think about. Things I’d rather keep in the dark, hidden deep inside, never to be found again. Things that I need to forget and want to forget, but every day it’s there again.

Memory is an amazing ability our minds have, but it’s also a cruel one.

Hump Day? Try Hmph! Day.

Posted: September 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

Ah, Wednesday. Hump day. The day that helps us keep our strength and optimism after surviving Monday and Tuesday, and the day that starts the countdown to the weekend. It really is a wonderful day when you think about it. Assuming it goes smoothly, that is. Two hours in, and this particular Wednesday has been a bit…Frustrating.

1.) So I tell my son this morning to pack his lunch. I check it as we’re headed out and he has a cupcake (omg, those fucking cupcakes) in a sandwich bag. First of all, this is the last fucking time I buy cupcakes because these children have almost driven me insane begging for them (although I managed to sneak into the kitchen yesterday and get one, undetected, then I actually had time to hide behind the dining room cabinet to eat it!). So he’s got this sandwich bag that in 15 minutes has already become a mess of blue and red frosting and chocolate. I pulled it out, to his dismay, and told him sandwich bags are not proper containers for cupcakes and that it will get smashed and beyond the point of being able to be eaten if the children really do slam their lunch bags all together like he says.

2.) I had to get his ADHD medication and when I came out of my bedroom, my son is standing at my 3 year old daughter’s room with her door open just talking to her. At 7 in the morning. When she wasn’t awake yet. Yup. Dude woke up his sister for no reason. So much for my usual morning, where there is a nice quiet hour or two of mommy free time. Sigh.

3.) The moment he goes to open the car door and get out, I notice his pants. ALL of this kid’s laundry is clean and somehow, he chose the ONE pair of pants with a huge rip across the knee. We were already at the school and it was almost time for his class, so there was no time to bring him home to change pants. So all day he will be walking around with ripped pants and who does that reflect negatively on? You got it. The parent. Me. Grr.

Here’s to the hope that the rest of today will be less sigh inducing than the morning.

I Still Love You Guys

Posted: September 1, 2015 in Uncategorized

I want to take a quick moment to say thank you to anyone who is reading and thank you to the people following me. I also want to apologize. There are a few of you who always like my posts and comment on them and all, and for that I am beyond grateful. I am sorry though, because I don’t get a lot of time to get on here aside from putting up a post. I have a lot going on and I’m super busy (not that other people aren’t), so I don’t get a lot of chances to scroll through my reader, network, or visit pages. Just know that even if I’m not liking things or commenting, I see you guys and when I have extra time I do look around and read posts.

Take Care Of Yourself!

Posted: September 1, 2015 in Uncategorized

I’ve been trying to take better care of myself lately and I thought I’d share a few of the things I’m doing.

Daily bath (for great skin care):
1-2 teaspoons of natural, organic coconut oil
4-6 drops of Melaleuca (tea tree) essential oil
Soak 15-20 minutes
Pat dry
*For added effects, use a body brush and then rinse in the shower before getting in the tub.
**Alternatively, use 4-6 drops of lemon essential oil and 4-6 drops of orange essential oil instead of tea tree for a refreshing, energizing morning bath.

Morning drink (This sounds nasty, but you get used to it):
1-2 teaspoons of Bragg’s apple cider vinegar
1-2 teaspoons of natural honey
1 teaspoon of natural, organic coconut oil
Sprinkle of cinnamon (optional)
Stir into a cup of hot water

Sore throat:
1-2 teaspoons of natural honey
1 drop of lemon essential oil
Stir in with hot tea of your choice

Nausea:
Simply smell lemon essential oil

Daily suggestions for health benefits:
Take 1-2 drops of oregano essential oil under the tongue once daily (Warning! It tastes awful, but it’s amazing for you!)
Take a daily multivitamin and probiotic
Drink plenty of water

*All essential oils I use are doTERRA brand. I do not have experience with other brands of oils, so results may be different with other brands.

Get Out Of My Fucking Way! Damn!

Posted: September 1, 2015 in Uncategorized

I’ve written similar posts to this, but I can’t help it. It makes me so angry and I have to get it out. I can feel a rage build and it has to be released, and you’re the unlucky people who get to read about it! Kidding.

Back to the point…Drivers. Traffic. Red lights. I fucking hate it all. This isn’t a suddenly developed irritation, but it has been greatly amplified this school year. My son is going up through school and is now at a different campus than last year and I hate driving to it. The town we live in has a population of around 13-14,000. Not a lot, right? Then why the hell does it feel like a city sometimes? I’m serious! Go ahead, chuckle. I know it sounds silly, but until you come down to Texas and fight traffic in this damn town, shut it.

I hate trying to get my son to school. Everything is fine until I get into town. The road I live on doesn’t give me too much grief usually, but once I get to town it all goes downhill. I have to skip over a huge intersection or chance getting stuck through the cycles of all the lights, so I have to do this little jump thing where I come in and jut off on a side road so I can bypass the lights. My next normal course of action would be to continue on from the intersection to the next traffic light, but I say “Fuck that!”

The second traffic light is just down from the school and, from what I’ve witnessed, there is usually enough time for roughly 4 vehicles to pass before the light changes again. Let me say that again: Roughly 4 vehicles. Only 4. In the middle of the school morning rush. People backed up to the previous intersection. It’s fucking stupid. I had to get creative again and find an alternate route. See, it may take me just as long to go an alternate way, but at least I’m moving and feel like I’m actually going somewhere. Having to sit through multiple cycles of one light pisses me THE FUCK OFF!

So, I found my alternate route, which involves a short jump through a neighborhood, and it comes right out at that stupid light, making it so I can just turn rather than having to wait through it. Genius, I know. 😉 After that light, I’m pretty well screwed. There aren’t a lot of alternate ways to the school after that, which is unfortunate because the next road is a single lane that people just love to slowly cruise down.

I go the short (although it feels like forever) distance down that road, to the next, and then the next after that. Unfortunately at this point all the people at the school are now backing things ups, so I’m sitting there waiting for all these mini vans and SUVs to hurry their 5 MPH turns.

I finally get to drop my kid off, only to have to pull out of the school and do it all over again, backwards. Ah, fun.

Why do people not want more from their life and themselves? I see them all day, these people so consumed with ignorant fucking thoughts about petty shit. Money, cars, fucking, drugs, shopping, gossip, celebrity whereabouts, fashion, status, and the whole tray of dumb shit to base your quality of life on. It’s sickening, to be honest. How can a being be so blinded by their own self imposed brilliance? “I’ve got money,” “I got my hair done,” “I got that new car,” “I just signed the mortgage on a new house,” “I hope that sale doesn’t get cleaned out before I get there,” “I need the new iPhone,” “I am the president of this company,” “Did you see what blah-blah wore to *insert random awards show*?”,”It’s so unfair, my internet is down,” etc. What the FUCK DOES IT MATTER?!?!?! There is no one being on this earth that is the center of it. Pull your head out of your ass! Wake up, open your eyes, and LOOK. Yes, that beautiful place surrounding you is the Earth. That warm light shining on you is the sun. Those trees help you breath. In all that true brilliance, you are not the center of anything. You are merely a blip on the radar. The audacity to believe that you are somehow more important than anything else, with such a complex and magnificent system right in front of you, is ridiculous and insane. To obsess about and spend your life on the the bullshit you choose to focus on is moronic. With all the world in front of you, the only thing you can focus on is fleeting, replaceable, and all the while you stand there as if any of it matters. In your mind, the world is ending. In the world, no one and nothing else noticed.

That being said, why do people live their lives this way? Why choose a false reality, with false idols, products, and people, when you can choose true reality and experience life? Read a book, learn a language, explore a new town, let your inner child run and play, find a passion, help others for the sake of helping, seek out those in need and do something about it, fucking hell, go out for a walk just to be outside in nature (leave the pedometers and fitness junk behind)! Find something inspiring in every day and fucking live for true happiness. The shit they feed you on TV and in the magazines…What the fuck does that have to do with this amazing home we were all given, and in the big picture, what the hell does it matter? LIVE life!

I Saw What You Did There…

Posted: August 28, 2015 in Dating
Tags: ,

I’ve noticed something about people…They suck. See, this writing hiatus I took was for many reasons, one of which was a breakup. I started dating again in June and wow, the observations I made…

The first guy I dated was an oil field worker. He was 5 hours away, 3 weeks out of each month. I, being the awesome person I am, drove all the way out there for a visit with this guy. Things were going fine until I’m scrolling through Facebook one day and in my news feed is a post to his page from some girl calling him sweetheart and saying she can’t wait to see him. That was my cue to step aside. Not playing that shit.

The second guy I dated was really nice and we had tons in common. I actually thought something could potentially come from it down the road. That is, if he hadn’t suddenly disappeared. Haven’t heard from him since. Don’t really care at this point though.

The third guy I dated was the longest lasting courtship I had found this summer. We dated for about a month. Cool guy, nice, funny, extremely attractive, intelligent…And also completely self absorbed and emotionless. The dude never really asked me anything about myself. He was perfectly content to sit and talk about himself all day. That, paired with the fact that he lived an hour and a half away, one way, and he didn’t have a car…Well, I decided it wasn’t worth my time, money, and effort to see this guy who could give a shit about anything to do with me or my life.

Unfortunately, these men are not the first people I’ve met who behave in these ways. So, I met a dishonest guy, a flaky guy, and a narcissist. Observation, one more time…PEOPLE SUCK!